Undefinable Collection of Random Thoughts

Thursday, 16 November 2017

The Safe-Bet Makeup I Always Come Back To.

Greetings Internet!

I have gone a little MIA the last few days as I just had so much to do with school and on top of that I am now stuck in bed with a chest infection which isn’t the most appealing way to spend my day however, it has some positives because as a result I am finally getting the chance to put together a new post for you guys.
Since I started the new website a few weeks back, I have introduced all the sections besides the beauty one so when I needed an idea for a new post, I concluded it was a perfect opportunity to give the beauty section a little bit of love.
For this post, I was originally just going to do a foundation review but while I was at it, I decided to go all out and include a few more products that I find myself always going back to because I think everyone is a little bit like that. No matter how many products we try, we always have ones that we will forever love and consider the safe option when making purchases so below are mine!

This foundation has been raved about for ages and for such a long time, I remember resisting from it and for some strange reason just sticking to my other foundations. However, as I became more into wearing less makeup and began opting for more natural looks, I instantly gravitated towards the Bourjois Healthy Mix foundation. Around that time, Bourjois also released a new improved version of the foundation which certainly did not disappoint.
As unrealistic as it sounds, the Bourjois Healthy Mix foundation is so natural and leaves the skin looking glowy and flawless while at the same time being really lightweight which I personally find so important because I hate the feeling of having a tonne of makeup of my skin. The new version has an anti-fatigue formula which is full of skin boosting and protecting vitamins. The combination of vitamin E, C and B5 means it’s amazing for giving a beautifully radiant complexion and doesn’t make wearing makeup sound half as bad for the skin!
If you’re looking for a foundation that isn’t very heavy but still makes you look more awake, glowy and acts as a bit of a ‘pick me up’ each morning, I would definitely recommend giving this one a go.

For going out when I need the makeup to last, I usually would opt for some more high end eyeshadows however, in terms of everyday wear I prefer something more drugstore that I can easily repurchase without breaking the bank. I undoubtedly stick to brown shades 95% of the time and the palette I like using is the Maybelline “The Nudes” Eyeshadow Palette. This palette contains a selection of 12 mostly brown shades, a mix of shimmer, satin and matte ones. To be honest, the metallic shades are ones that I use much more as the matte ones are much harder to use and don’t have a big colour pay off. The metallic ones are fab though as their texture is very creamy and the colours truly pop once applied onto the eyelid.
Even though I am not a fan of all of the shades, this palette is still one I’d recommend if you’re looking for something cheap that does the job. Most of the shades are lovely and for that price tag, worth the hype.

This product isn't by any means a new release and is on the pricier side but it is so so good! The Mary Lou Manizer is a smooth and extremely pigmented highlighter. It is a beautiful champagne colour that would look gorgeous on fair to medium to dark toned skin. In saying that, it is not glittery at all and looks so so fab in pictures as it adds a gorgeous glowy finish! Unlike some highlighters, this one is definitely not a highlighter for a subtle shine. It is a highlighter I will definitely invest in again, especially since it's fairly big and lasts a good while. And on top of that, the packaging is so cute that there is truly nothing not to love about this product.

If you have not tried these, you truly must be living under a rock! Everyone has raved about them for years and for obvious reasons - they are incredible and their price is even better! They are certainly some of the best drugstore lipsticks out there. My personal favourites are the 03 (second from the right) which is a nude shade and 107 which is a perfect red Autumn/Winter shade (first on the left).

I hope you enjoyed this post. What are your safe-bet makeup products?


Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Tea Chats: Reducing Stress & Insomnia

Greetings Internet,

I am fairly certain that we can all agree that there’s nothing nicer on a cold Autumn or Winter day than a soothing cup of tea. But besides being a tasty, comforting, caffeine-free-pick-me-up, different teas have lots of wonderful health benefits. From easing insomnia to reducing bloating, there is pretty much a tea for everything and as someone who drinks approximately five cups of tea a day, I think there is no reason for me not to share what I know so grab your favourite notebook and start your tea shopping list as today we are discussing teas that reduce stress and ease insomnia.  
Peppermint tea is first on our list. To provide you with some background info, peppermint tea belongs to the mint family and is a cross between spearmint and watermint. It is a strong antioxidant with an anesthetic and analgesic effect on the nervous system and arguably is probably the most popular herbal tea out there.
One of the many benefits of peppermint tea is its ability to help you relax. The menthol contained in peppermint is a natural muscle relaxant and can even help loosen stiffness. Even better, peppermint is a gem for fighting menstrual cramps so next time it’s that time of the month, be sure to give it a go.
As it lacks caffeine, peppermint is a perfect one to drink before bed for a better nights sleep or to ease any anxiousness after a hectic day.
However, chamomile tea is the real deal. Oh I can't express my love for chamomile tea because I am addicted. Chamomile tea not only reduces stress and anxiety, but it also helps treat insomnia. Best thing about it though is the fact it literally tastes like a hug in a mug. Not even kidding. Try it out asap!
I am sure many of you will also be familiar with green tea - another fave not going to lie. This one actually contains caffeine so it's a good one to drink in the mornings if you're trying to reduce your coffee intake (a.k.a me!). It provides a boost of energy and has a book full of benefits but on top of that, it is adaptogenic in nature so it keeps you alert yet calm without making you feel drowsy.
Last but not least, in addition to its numerous benefits, rose tea also helps remedy stress and anxiety. It does this by easing the mind, thus making rose tea an excellent tea to drink before going to bed. Its calming effect helps you sleep well and instantly reduces irritability.
That's all the tea-talk that I've got for you today. I hope this was helpful and be sure to let me know what teas you would like for me to concentrate on next.

All the love,


Monday, 6 November 2017

To Remember All The Good

A lit candle. A book in my purse. The outdoors. The music on just a little too loud. A notebook to be filled. The lemon-scented face cream. Kindness. Autumn Walks. When a person asks you a question and waits to hear the answer. A dress that is an inch too short and the courage to wear it. Good tea. Cosy Autumn nights. Good Chai Lattes. Finding new music you love. Dogs. Getting an unexpected text from someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Watching someone’s excitement as they fall in love. Dancing. Getting enough sleep. Witnessing someone taking a chance and avoiding a 'what if' moment.


This is Heartbreak.

April 11th 2017 10.22pm

Heartbreak; what I find to be the most misunderstood word. You don’t know heartbreak the way someone else does. There will never be a clear definition of heartbreak. There is your heartbreak, and then there is someone else’s. Right now I guess it is my time to experience it and as a form of therapy, I will share a little bit about it with you (prepare for a complete ramble).

I don’t think anything in life prepares for heartbreak. It is bad – bad in the kind of way I can’t sleep, but don’t want to get out of bed either; bad like my chest hurts as if my heart had actually been physically damaged; bad as in no other pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. Something beautiful had happened –and something beautiful turned ugly, I guess I am grieving intensely for the beauty that was lost.

If it was physically possible to truly portray feelings on film, I’d say I had a romance they could make movies about. Being with him felt like being discovered and affirmed. It felt like I could do or say anything I ever wanted without fear because I knew, no matter what, he would be there and he’d make it better. It didn’t work out. I wish I could talk about the dissolution of the relationship and point to one reason it ended – but I can’t. I have my inclinations. For so long we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with us and I now know the moments I began to feel uncomfortable. I know the moments he began to feel trapped. Something wasn’t sitting right, and the longer it stayed, the less comfortable I was with myself.

He promised me he’d never hurt me and he kept his promise. He never directly hurt me, but he is still the cause of the worst pain I have ever experienced. You know that scene in The Fault in Our Stars when Hazel has to describe her pain and she saves the 10 for the worst case scenario? Well this is certainly (to my surprise) my 10.

The first day was obviously the hardest and I can’t even say what I felt because it was everything at once. The sadness, the pain, the heartbreak and a bit of everything really. No matter how prepared you may be, it is a shock. It is like every moment, day and memory you shared together comes back to you and hits you just as deeply as you loved the person and in my case, it was a lot. In fact, maybe too much. This breakup did not only change my relationship status, it changed the state of my heart, and it shifted from my passions and whatever happiness I had, to survival, and just getting through each minute without feeling the weight of my heart being broken into a million pieces. No longer am I worried about what is going on around me. Now I am only worried about whether I have the strength to keep going and whether what I was doing even mattered to me anymore.

Heartbreak is grieving the loss of someone who is still alive. It is the pit in your stomach no matter what you do. It is the memories and reminders burned into the back of your eyelids at 4am. It is insomnia, it is the small leak within your chest that turns into an oil spill. It is something that feels like it will never go away, it stains you. Modern heartbreak is quiet but yet so loud. It is the little things that hang like weights in your ribcage. It is seeing that they no longer are in your life, that they are enamoured with new souls. Modern heartbreak is having to explain, explain and explain because everyone sees it and that’s all yet ahead of me. It makes you think about all the ways you could have been better. It makes you think about all the ways you could have been more. And that is why it is so difficult and makes you consider drinking yourself to unconsciousness to drown the pain or maybe just stop it for a while.

 I soon learned that there are a few stages which you fluctuate between: there is the shattered stage when you’re in pieces, the strong stage that constantly reminds you that you can get through it and the ‘im perfectly fine’ stage where you try to convince yourself you’re over it and attempt to convince your friends to go out that night.

Well I didn’t go out. I ended up bawling my eyes and pouring my heart out to such extent, that I made my friends cry. Please just take a moment to imagine a group of girls crying while drinking hot chocolate…it’s the only time I laughed that day.

My friends made me feel a bit more grounded, maybe because of how funny I found their attempts to cheer me up as I am usually the one in the group with all of the advice. Despite that, I will still forever be grateful for their support because I wouldn’t be able to power through it alone.

But then I came home. And then the ‘shattered’ stage truly began. I guess it really hit me. I sat on my bed and broke down. I cried more tears than I thought I was capable of. And the more time passed, the more it hurt. The more I was drowning in the pain and I think what is the absolute worst thing about it is that for me it isn’t just losing a boyfriend, it is losing a best friend and a person that I absolutely adore as a human being and there is an endless list of things I will miss besides him alone.

The morning after was just as bad. I got about four hours of sleep but I woke up feeling at peace, without my head pounding which was simply refreshing. But that did not last over five minutes before the unbearable pain and tears flooded back and It felt like a dagger in my chest because the pain of not having him in my life is all too real.  Now it is opening my eyes and wanting to turn over and go back to a place where thinking about him is not on autopilot in my mind. But it is. He is every thought. And everything is a reminder.

This is heartbreak.

It is mustering the strength to get out of bed when all you want to do is lay there staring at the ceiling wondering how you even got here and wondering how one human could have impacted you as much as they have.

It is reaching for your phone and a small part of you hoping their name is on the screen.

It’s swearing you’ll never let anyone in again, it’s cursing off love because if this is love, then you want no part of it.

It's hating on your body because he touched it and having the urge to burn all of your  clothes because they serve as reminders of various situations.

It is going through every motion with a smile to hide the fact you feel completely broken and lost inside.

It’s also real life situations. Going to the shop in the state you woke up in with bloodshot eyes from crying and the shop assistant wishing you a good day which in return to you burst out crying with the whole queue behind you staring. This is my experience of heartbreak anyway.

I look at the length of time we have been together, and it seems so short. It looks like nothing compared to all the other years I have lived without knowing you. But, the truth is, it felt like an infinity. It felt like an infinity because of the way I made friends with your past and everything you are. Each precious story you told me about your history made the person you are now so much clearer to me. Each dream, each endeavour, each secret you shared with me made me love you even more. And I thank life every day for all those little things that brought us together. It felt like an infinity because of the road we saw ahead of us. I never believed in something like this existing until I found you. You, who from the very first week, didn’t think I was crazy when I told you my impossible dreams. You,who just like me, isn’t in this for the game, but for the long haul.

It’s hard to imagine that during that very tiny portion of your life, I was someone important. Someone you would call a priority. Someone you would probably do anything for. Someone you said you loved. I am not saying you lied. I know you were honest. I know that at some point, I was everything. But somewhere there in between all that, we just didn’t really know anymore. So it wasn’t an infinity, it was just a taste.

How lucky are those who get to stay in your life. How lucky are those who get to see you smile every day. How lucky are those who get friendly hugs and random high-fives. How lucky are those who you talk to after a bad day. How lucky are those who get to be around you. How lucky are those who hear your name and don’t feel something sharp in their hearts. How lucky are they.

But then I think about how much more of you I had during that small time frame than they’ll ever get as they stay in your life. I had the little things no one will ever experience. I had the inappropriate innuendoes, the real, unfiltered you and shameless conversations. I had first dibs to your time and to your heart. I had the I crave you’s, I miss you’s and I love you’s. In that time, I had you.

Perhaps that was enough time for us to learn from each other and carry on. Perhaps we took a shortcut and ended us way before we were meant to break each other’s hearts. Perhaps we missed out on the best thing that could have ever happened to us because we couldn’t overcome our own doubts.

We’ll never know I guess.

But the one thing I do know is that it was so wonderful that I can’t ever be mad at you for letting go.

It was everything a relationship was supposed to be – safe, loyal, generous, supportive, fun, liberating and a little magical. But there is still so much more we could have and that we wished to do together that neither time nor circumstances permitted. My mind has been like a washing machine, an overloaded one at that, but what I do know for sure is that I’ll never regret giving you that part of my life. And that part will always be yours.

And babe I got around to listening to that new Kasabian song you told me about a few days back - I love it.

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